Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A Marriage on the Brink of Extinction

Research studies claim that 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. Many of these failed marriages end on infidelity and financial issues. Premarital counseling can treat potential issues before they become irreparable conflict in future marriages.

My brother's friend discussed his troubling marriage. His marriage is on the verge of possibly failing. Neither infidelity nor financial issues are responsible for setting off a chain reaction. The separation occurred because there is a lack of communication in the relationship. It is obvious this couple will grow further apart, especially if they don't reconcile. 

The wife told the husband to remove his possessions from her home. She made it known she doesn't want to resolve their differences. For the most part, the friend is now living at his family's home, which place the couple in two different cities more than 90 miles apart. Such an arrangement spells trouble.

Why would a marriage end on communication issues? People commonly disagree on many issues, and they work through kinks to strengthen their marriage. It's never easy for couples to accept differences, but relationships rely on communication to address concerns. Sarcasm, rude comments, failure to listen, and lack of understanding can destroy a marriage.

Marriages are built on trust, communication, respect, and support. Any person failing to meet the preceding standards will experience conflict in their relationships. In order to improve on these areas, a couple must agree to work through their differences. Such differences are sometimes hard to detect, so a PAIR test is a reliable measure to find potential communication and interest problems.

Marriage counselors usually administer PAIR tests to their clients. They review the answers to assess the couple's personality and way of thinking. Counselors assign homework to help couples deal with their conflict. Couples can work on creating activities to improve their communication. More than likely conflict arises because couples have different interests. It is important for couples to make an attempt to engage in activities that their significant other enjoys most. The individual should also reciprocate the effort to demonstrate unity.

The friend adopts learned traits from his upbringing. He is too nice for his own good. He must change his ways to repair his marriage. His wife must improve on her behavior to prevent future problems. She is comfortable with remaining separated for 3 months. The 3 month separation can easily turn into 6 months, and then last as long as a 1 year. When a couple separates for 6 months or longer, their marriage will enter a phase that is unhealthy and irreversible.

In essence, communication is the key to building a strong relationship. Many couples lack communication, so disagreements can turn into conflict, and then become unresolved issues. Choosing to separate is the first sign of a marriage that is on the brink of extinction. Couples must focus on what brought them together in the first place. There are times that couples have to show emotion such as having arguments, showing anger, and being honest about how they feel about a situation.

Good luck on building a lasting marriage filled with healthy communication.


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