Thursday, September 3, 2009

Being successful as a writer is hard because of financial distress

When choosing a career as a writer, you lack short-term success. Writing is a long-term career decision that has its ups and downs. Financial distress is sure to plague you. I have to struggle each, and every month to figure out how to survive. I have a great deal of stress, which never subsides, not even during relaxing moments. You can't take a shower without thinking about ideas, new words, sentence structure, writing techniques, and the dreaded financial obligations. Your mind is constantly working until it shuts down for morning, afternoon, or even the night. Sleeping is secondary to working. Being successful as a writer is hard because of financial distress.

If I made enough money to survive, then writing would be so much more efficient. I invest the majority of my time helping others to realize their dreams. I have dozens of scripts sitting around. I have a quote book that I have been preparing for the past year, which has about 75 pages full of inspiring quotes. In addition, dozens of my notebooks have marketable story ideas, mini notepads contain dialogue, journals are full of dreams, memory sticks storing interesting characters, and other creative work gathering dust in plastic bins.

Why haven't I been able to e successful as a writer? The main reason is because I don't have financial security. I have to worry about bills all the time. Basically, the only activities I take part in is writing, college, and paying bills. I don't go out and purchase anything besides books, and writing supplies.

I have heard of people starting up websites to ask for donations. They request help to pay for bills because they fell into debt due to a spending problem. In asking for donations to finance the time it takes to write quality articles to help others, I have not made a single penny. I don't have any blog traffic to click on advertisements. I write to help people, but in helping others become successful, my dreams end up sitting on the back burner, waiting for the right time to make them a reality. Everyone knows that if you wait for a dream, the opportunity will come and go.

I will never be able to live my dreams because I am buried in student loans, can't find the time to market my work to publishing vendors and studios, and have to constantly worry about surviving. With a good education - multiple college degrees - past military experience, quality writing abilities, effective communication skills, and a strong analytical mind, I make less than a high school kid does at a fast food restaurant.

How do I find incentive to continue writing? I have hope, and faith which makes me believe that I will be given an opportunity to succeed. People used to reject my dreams in wanting to be a professional writer, but now they believe in my abilities. Hard work does pay off in the end. I have been working hard for most of my life. I give advice to others. I want to help them avoid bad decision making that is sure to set them back. Through the written word, I try to inspire people to go after their dreams.

Financial distress influences my ability to live a dream. I know that because of money, there is a strong chance that I may never accomplish my goals. I will never give up in trying to be a professional writer. I have earned the chance to demonstrate my value as a writer. I know a great deal about history, laws, government, policy, communication, healthcare, science, leadership, writing, and many other areas of concentration.

Right now, I have been feeling down about my future. I just realized that waiting to accomplish a dream is not good enough. I need to make changes, or risk losing everything. What should a person do when they have what it takes to deliver the goods? Time is going against me. Various dreams, one in particular, hinted that I need to go after my goals now, or risking losing my sense of purpose in the future. Without waking dreams, what is my purpose in life? I want to do more in life than just have fun.

I started to write this piece using a writing dream and money as the theme of the essay, but didn't know where it would lead to. The last few days, I have been feeling that life never gives you a chance to be happy. I have overworked my mind, doing way too much to keep others happy. The goals I set in 1994 - wanting to work in Hollywood - are quickly evaporating like water on hot pavement. I want to enjoy my success now, then to have my work praised long after I leave this world.

I noticed that doing wrong in life helps one to become successful. I don't want to change my ability to help others make their dreams possible. If I don't accomplish my dreams, or even realize my potential, then I have to accept that making others people happy will be my purpose in life. Financial distress is deteriorating my body and mind like a wildfire. I don't know how much more time that I have left to carry out my dreams. There comes a time when you have to make a decision.

Many people suggest that money doesn't make people happy, or even successful. Money has influenced every decision that I made in the past 15+ years. I have major headaches, chest pain, back stiffness, and other issues because of money. I have experienced major hardship relating to money. I never ask to be compensated for the good things that I've done for others. I worked as an Air Force medical technician in a military hospital, caring for patients; really making a difference. I also took part in teamwork at many other jobs. When you do so much good, then sometimes you question life. Money is the reason I can't live a dream. Eventually, I will experience health problems due to not being able to find financial security.

As for being a writer, you have to worry about what it takes to make your dreams possible - to realize your potential. Many people that will try to influence your dreams, even making you abandon them. I have to figure out what it will take to survive in the next month. I'm constantly worrying about the future. I know that millions of families are struggling too, but if I can make it as a writer, I can attract more attention to help these people. As an aspiring writer, my voice is nonexistent. People never listen to what I have to say unless I have the credentials to back up the advice. Right now, my writing voice is weak.

My dreams are going up in flames, carrying off into the sky without me. I may never get to experience success because financial distress is suffocating my goals. I chose this direction in life. I could have gone another route. What I realize is that dreams have a price tag attached to them. You have to finance your dreams with hard work, paying huge interest in process, and possibly even wasting some lucrative opportunities in other career fields. Is it worth paying for a lifetime of struggles just to chase after a dream? I think so.

When I try to do the right thing, it never works out. I have been turned down for many jobs. Being overqualified seems to be the theme. Another is not having enough experience in a specific area of concentration. I was given an opportunity to go after a San Francisco City job. Initially, the City of SF kept denying me. They even denied me from taking the test, but a year later, they finally gave me the opportunity to take it. I scored one of the highest scores on the city test. The good and bad news always arrived in a form of a letter.

You could tell by the way the letter started off whether the bad news was good or bad. The good news laid out the ground work quick, wasting no time in informing you of their intentions. After earning a high test score, I applied for dozens of jobs. I met the minimum requirements, but had quality experience and education. Each time after applying, I received a letter telling me that other people were more qualified than me. What do you do when you're always rejected on everything you try to do in getting ahead. You keep trying until you get it right.

As of now, I am struggling to capture success because of not having enough money to survive. It's like trying to reel in a gigantic fish with a small test-line. It's like running out of printer ink right before the last page prints out. It's like missing a green light, costing you to lose a room to rent - making you have to live in car for another 7 months. It's like being ripped off by multiple roommates not wanting to pay rent and other bills. It's like having to take a class multiple times because nobody wants to help you do the work. It's like helping others to live their dreams while you have to wait for yours. It's like having all the skills, but no opportunities to use them.

Life is never fair. You have to make decisions because of money. I lose a ton of sleep writing articles for people that never want to read them. I leave comments on many forums. I have done everything possible to attract an audience, but it never works out. I don't want to play the role of having people feel sorry for me because of recurring hardship. I want to defeat these never ending challenges. I have hurdled every obstacle. When the race gets tough, I try harder to move along.

I have never given up on anything that seems hopeless. Right before my brother and his wife's wedding, the radiator hose popped in the middle of the desert. As daunting as it seemed at the time, I never gave up trying, eventually making it to the wedding in the nick of time. Without ever having any bad experiences, I may not be a good writer. Though, I have to admit that being successful as a writer is hard because of financial distress.

1 comment:

  1. I understand what you're saying. I cam from 15 years of leading a nonprofit organization that helps kids and I left it to do writing full-time. What was I thinking, right?

    Reading your words raised my eyebrow, and made me wonder a little, giving me that - oh snap, what did I just do feeling...but you know what we were called to do this, to write.

    And I believe, strongly, that you will as well. Those good deeds you did will not go unnoticed, you will succeed and there will be a time when you will look back and remember these days, those days and say huh, how bout that?

    You will succeed, you will succeed...