The list of second round applicants were announced today. With scoring an 87, I wasn't one of the applicants to make it past the first round. Judges only confirmed 100 applicants that wrote 130 scenes. This is the third contest in which I failed to accomplish an intended goal.
Maybe next time around I will produce a better screenplay. I know that life can never go the way that anyone plans it. I have to keep trying to go after my dreams, even if they never amount to anything. I have been trying for 15 years to make it into Hollywood.
Life is not that good right about now. Financially, I don't think I can hold on much longer. The moment that I left the military, my financial situation started to unravel. My coworkers used to ask me how I would make it outside of the Air Force. I'll admit it; they were right. My father and mother also have scolded me about leaving the military.
My financial situation has been a recurring theme for past 12 years - that is the moment I separate from the service and made it a point to go after the Hollywood goal. Before that moment, I prepared myself with attending college theater arts courses and acting classes in Sacramento. I assumed that 4 years of preparation would help me to make it into Hollywood.
After spending a bundle on college, now I'm questioning my past decision making. I can't fail now, not at this very moment. I have come too far to give up - I experienced too much hardship. Will I make it out of the current disaster.
Truthfully, I have no answers to what it will take to weather this current storm. I am lost for words. I hoped to make it past the first round of the contest. I really thought that I had a chance; a glimmer of hope that I could move closer to my goal.
As with the last two screenwriting contests, I have to start all over again. I'm starting to think about that one Journey song, "Here I go again on my own." I feel like I'm walking on that dream road alone. I can't find one person to believe in me. I know that my journey will be dark; the only guidance I will have is my hope.
The light from the distance is dull, almost nonexistent. I can barely see it. When our dreams are waiting for us, all we can do is try to avoid wavering to the influences that deny our dreams. The Cyberspace Contest made me realize that I am just an amateur writer that is waiting like millions of other people to dock on the right destination.
Good luck to those that have a dream, and to others that are near the point of accomplishment.